​You cannot love in moderation.

This is a line from a song called Land of the Living, by Matthew Perryman Jones.
Anytime I hear this song, it makes me feel emotional. There are so many words in this song that hit me like a ton of bricks, but this line is the most important.

You cannot love in moderation.

It reminds me to allow myself to be broken and open in relationships that are safe and reciprocal. To allow the walls around my heart to come down is the only way to have true connection with other people. Even though I know this, it’s still really hard. In my life over the past several years, there have been so many major changes. It’s not natural for me to allow myself to be truly seen by anyone, because I feel the constant need to guard myself. When I allow myself to love wholeheartedly, there is a deep ache that comes with the knowledge that I am allowing that person to be close enough to destroy me emotionally.

However, I do believe this is why we are placed on this earth together. I believe we are to care for the ones we choose to walk alongside, and that this is the true purpose in life-- and what makes all that pain worth the battle.

You cannot love in moderation
Dancing with a dead man's bones
Lay your soul
On the threshing floor

Between the walls of the river,
Shoulders bare the sacred stones
We made it alive
We are not alone

Kiss the ground
And change your name

Thank you Matthew Perryman Jones, for this beautiful song – that rocks my soul and brings be back to center.
Music heals.
​#musicheals

All my best,
Amy

“You know, Amy… At some point, you just have to be realistic about your condition.”
This was the feedback I received a couple years ago from a neurologist who was seeing me for my hydrocephalus. I’m sure she meant well. Actually, she might have even been trying to encourage me -- by lowering my admittedly very high expectations. 
 
But here’s the deal.
I’m not looking to “be realistic”. 
I aim to be extraordinary. 
Every day I work to discover the things that make my experience and impact in life more meaningful. 
I may not have the skills and knowledge to find a cure for hydrocephalus. However, I do have the ability to support the incredible humans who are working every day on new solutions. 
I am living every day to the fullest of my abilities, and I continually seek a better understanding of the things that are in my control. 
I do these things with some very committed and likeminded individuals.
​My inner circle is small, but it is mighty. 
Together we face forward, staying focused on what we can impact through perseverance and education. 
 
It’s why I use the hashtag #we in my posts.
WE are doing this together.  
WE are going to live and love between the madness.
WE are going to help the world understand the severity of hydrocephalus, and the need for better answers. 
WE are not going to settle for being “realistic”. 
WE are going to make an impact. 

Together. 
#we.
​- Am

for aron, who chooses to catch me, and absolutely refuses to waver. #we.